Back in the day, reality introduced me to love and the word ‘goodbye’ was still unknown. But under some unavoidable circumstances, reality made the word ‘goodbye’ a part of my love life.
The boys/men that came in my life would give me a warm love in the very first days. So warm you’ll never think that it would end nor was it fake. They would promise me a love thats never-ending, but little did I know that it was fleeing as they said it. Ill admit that it was painful and as time goes by the process became predictable.
When someone leaves, another one comes and the cycle goes over and over again. They would cheat and the new one cheats and the one after that and so on. They left me asking questions to myself as to where did I go wrong, have I said something that made them change their minds about me, or was I not doing the right things. They left me with questions they could never answer, because somehow the answer would boil down to a phrase that says “you will never be enough for them”. What hurts the most is when Ive given them my all – mind, body and soul, they would disappear right away.
They left me thinking that someone like me doesn’t deserve any bit of happiness. A routine of gathering the shattered pieces and starting anew was made. Maybe thats the good thing about me, I never lost hope on love.
That even if happiness seemed to always find its way away from me, I will not stop in sewing and piercing back the pieces so I could offer a whole new me – scarred and used, but still willing to give my all to someone more deserving than those guys that left me with unanswered questions. Questions that left me hanging. Questions that made me wish to be a better version of myself for you and hoping that maybe you could break the cycle and the predictability of the norm.
Goodbyes have become a standard before you came, but for the first time in a long time, you gave me a glimpse of love. And I would never want to say goodbye to you, never. All that would ever cross my mind is how much I would give the world just to make you stay.